Everything. Everything makes Chris Resop grab his crotch.
There is an analysis that proves this.
(Yes, this probably could go to Off-Topic, but the world needs to know.)
"We really don't need the whole commercial break/warm-up routine every time a new reliever comes into the game. It certainly made sense in 1884 when they only switched pitchers when the starter was attacked by pickaxe or caught consumption, and no reliever was warming up because he was busy gambling and drinking." - JD
I still think I'm going to wake up and say "I shouldn't listen to the podcast before bed, I dreamed the Sox signed a guy from Curaçao named Charlie Zink." - KOC