Juan Soto

lol sounds like Dombrowski was annoyed at being used in the media

"Hey, chatgpt, the offseason hype is drying up a little bit. Write me a scene where the Red Sox go all out to sign Soto and invite him to Thanksgiving."

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[Scene: A bustling Thanksgiving table in a warm New England home. The turkey's been carved, and everyone is passing sides and sipping drinks. The personalities are larger than life, and the conversation is dynamic.]

David Ortiz: (chewing on a turkey leg) "Mira, Juan. Boston’s got everything, man. Fenway? The fans? They’ll love you, bro. Trust Big Papi on this—there’s no place like it. You’ll be a legend."

Juan Soto: (grinning, but cautious) "I mean, I hear you, Papi, but I don’t know. The market’s crazy right now, and Scott’s telling me—"

Scott Boras: (interrupting with his trademark confidence) "—Juan. Remember, this is your decision. You’re a generational talent. A unicorn. Boston’s great, sure, but let’s not sell yourself short. There’s a lot of interest out there. A lot."

Craig Breslow: (polished and measured, like the Ivy Leaguer he is) "Scott, I respect the hustle, but Boston’s a perfect fit for Juan. Think about it: our pitching is solid, the lineup is hungry, and we’re ready to win now. Juan could be the final piece."

Theo Epstein: (calmly leaning forward, always the cerebral negotiator) "Juan, I built a curse-breaking team here before. It’s a special place. The fans are passionate, the history is rich, and Fenway is electric. Plus, Boston’s not just a baseball town—it’s a championship town. We’d treat you like family."

Rob Gronkowski: (confused, but happy to be there, stuffing mashed potatoes into his mouth) "Wait, wait, hold up. Are we talking about a contract? I thought this was, like, Thanksgiving football stuff. Juan, dude, you ever play tight end? You’d crush it!"

Mark Wahlberg: (leaning back, trying to play it cool but clearly repping Boston hard) "Gronk, c’mon, bro. We’re talking about making Juan the face of the Sox. Soto, listen—Boston’s got heart. You come here, you’re not just playin' baseball. You’re joining a family. Plus, I’ll make a movie about you someday. No pressure."

Juan Soto: (laughing, but still cautious) "I appreciate it, guys, really. It’s just... I want to win, but I also want to feel secure, you know? I’m 25. This next deal needs to set me up for life."

Scott Boras: (nodding, seeing the opening) "Exactly. Security, legacy, and financial commitment. Boston’s history is great, but let’s not forget the market value. We need to see the full package."

David Ortiz: (playfully slapping Boras on the back) "Scott, we all know you love that 'full package,' but c’mon, man. Juan, you’ll make your money. Trust me. Winning in Boston? That’s priceless. Look at my rings, baby."

Craig Breslow: (trying to bring it back to analytics) "Juan, we can offer you the best blend of support on and off the field. Advanced training, state-of-the-art analytics, and a lineup designed to maximize your impact. You’ll thrive here."

Rob Gronkowski: (pointing at the cranberry sauce) "Okay, but real quick—can someone pass that? Juan, dude, I think Boston’s great too. But if you go, I better get season tickets or something."

Theo Epstein: (smiling at Gronk but laser-focused on Soto) "Juan, you’ve got the opportunity to not just play baseball but make history. No one remembers the guys who just cashed in. They remember legends. Boston turns players into legends."

Juan Soto: (pausing, clearly enjoying the attention, but still undecided) "Man, you’re making it tough. Big Papi’s right, I want to win. But Scott’s also right—I’ve got to think long-term."

Mark Wahlberg: (leaning in, dramatic) "Soto, you belong in Boston. Imagine you in that Red Sox uniform, hitting bombs over the Green Monster. It’s destiny."

David Ortiz: (raising a glass) "To Juan Soto, future Red Sox superstar!"

Scott Boras: (raising an eyebrow) "Or... wherever the market takes him. Right, Juan?"

Rob Gronkowski: (holding up a turkey leg, oblivious) "To Thanksgiving! And cranberry sauce! And... Juan! Go team!"

In this article regarding the Yankees...

"If the New York Yankees don’t re-sign Juan Soto, one back-up plan floating around is signing free-agent first baseman Christian Walker, sign either Willy Adames or Alex Bregman to play third, shift Jazz Chisholm to second base, trade for Cubs center fielder Cody Bellinger, and then use the extra money to sign Burnes, Fried or Snell."

LOL wtf? After what Steinbrenner has said about payroll, they are now going to add close to $100,000,000 in payroll?

I don't know that we would necessarily know from the Mets brass how this is going though. When the Mets signed* Correa (after the SF Giants medical team dived in front of his contract signing like a live grenade), it was from Boras reaching out to Cohen directly, who was just drinking martinis in Hawaii. Cohen told then-GM Billy Eppler to make it happen. David Stearns might have a rather conventional offer out for Soto this week, and then Boras might just tell him "beat it, nerd" and engage with Daddy Warbucks on his own

JWH still not there?

Yes, because ChatGPT lives in 2022.

Pretty accurate assessment by Cohen there. They're either going to sign him or not yup pretty correct.

Didn’t become a billionaire by accident, great analysis

If the Mets don’t make the highest bid for Soto, what exactly is their pitch? Playing with Lindor? The supernatural wonders of Citi Field? Grimace?

Not only would Cohen seem capable of making the highest offer but… wouldn’t you think they kinda need to to? What else about the Mets dissuades him from either a return to the Bronx or Big Papi texting him constantly to come to Fenway

7 year offer?   

Only if the goal is to not get Soto.